January 2012
24 posts
7 tags
Shit shits say:
…
5 tags
9 tags
8 tags
WTDiet?
Nutrisystem’s new slogan is: “Get On It!”
Jenny Craig (pushing just Jenny) is: “Make It Happen!”
I suggest Weight Watchers just go: “Have Sex.”
5 tags
For The Pin!
4 tags
Do greeting card companies
get some kind of huge discount on glitter? or what!
5 tags
Hey Five Guys,
Thanks for the 5-pound bag of French fries. Can you now figure out how to cook them all evenly?
9 tags
"Hey Girl" (theme from "New Girl") - ¡En español!
¡Oye, chica! ¿Qué estás haciendo?
¡Oye, chica! ¿A dónde vas?
¿Quién es esa chica? ¿Quién es esa chica?
¡Es Jess!
5 tags
“Wait, was that the same footage?”
– Sterling Archer on “Archer”
4 tags
“Bobby Newport.
Bobby Newport.
Bobby Newport.”
– Parks and Recreation
6 tags
Fausto Carmona
really Roberto Hernandez Heredia. Used false identity when signed with Cleveland Indians; how very faustian! #litnerds
7 tags
4 tags
If there's no Internet,
I’m SO-napping. Wake me up when it’s back.
5 tags
When was:
the last time you thought of the word “buttocks.”
I’ll tell you when; just now, perv.
7 tags
I'm sexist
and I know it. #wigglewigglewigglewigglewiggleyeah
4 tags
Really, Prince?
Your response to “Everybody’s got a bomb, we could all die any day” is “Ow.”
6 tags
Another lyric
I can’t stop hearing/giggling (thanks to @katerados) Kanye West: “You are now watching the throne, don’t let me get a calzone!”
5 tags
The past tense of breakdance
…is brokedance?
5 tags
Wonder if...
“The Artist” will have a sequel starring Erykah Badu called “I’mma Artist: And I’m Sensitive About Ma’ $h!%”
4 tags
“Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, yeah
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle,...”
– the immortal words of LMFAO
6 tags
New Year's Resolution #2, #1 & #67
Read, Write, ‘rithmetic.
3 tags
New Year's Resolution #12
Change all passwords. Subsequently remember those passwords.
3 tags
2 tags
New Year's Resolution #7
Unsubscribe from all those email lists that clutter my mailbox.
December 2011
26 posts
7 tags
Patience + Faith = Calm
Someone check my math.
3 tags
"Whoop-dee-doo"
How is this NOT a sarcastic Christmas lyrics? - Andy Williams’ “Happy Holiday - The Holiday Season” (medley)
5 tags
Why are we not
pronouncing it like “range” of there’s an “e” at the end of Jessica Lange?
5 tags
Misheard Christmas lyric:
“It is the knight of our deer-savior’s birth.”
3 tags
Early Onset Stupidity's =
Taking off my glasses, opening my contacts case, fishing into my eyeball for the contact that is not there (yet). “Where IS this thing?”
5 tags
I think the book "Game Change"
… was a Game Changer for the term Game Changer.
3 tags
Don't let anyone take your happy...
but do share it.
8 tags
4 tags
“I don’t have a choice, but I still choose you.”
– The Civil Wars’ “Poison & Wine”
2 tags
A man approached me Saturday...
and asked if I was on TV. Although I have been, I was sure I was not who he was thinking of, so I politely said no. Then said “I’m just Marc Anthony.”
4 tags
"Jesus, Lord at thy birth..."
No pressure, kid.
7 tags
My horoscope says to:
“Be open to the written word today, because something important could come your way.” Okay world, I’m reading.
3 tags
Caught myself this morning
- after hearing someone say “I didn’t do nothing” - saying (aloud): “I didn’t do ANYthing.” #wordnerd
4 tags
I literally just...
spilled ham juice on my comforter. No joke.
3 tags
2 tags
Rave! (more horn-tooting)
http://bit.ly/tureview
5 tags
Hmm,...
maybe trying out Bon Iver in the existential headspace I’m in today isn’t smart.
2 tags
Horn: Tooted
http://bit.ly/mireview
5 tags
That's a first:
I somehow folded over my contact IN MY EYE while rubbing it. And it stayed in.
5 tags
4 which:
• four Richards tanned
• for richer Stans
• four widget stands
• for Richard’s stand
5 tags
“We are nearer to Spring than we were in September, I heard a bird sing in the...”
– Oliver Herford (and used in http://bit.ly/MiCasaTuCasa)
